The longest month of my life is nearly over. I get my MCAT scores in approximately 2.5 days. *gulp* I am starting to feel very nervous about the whole thing. What if this past month was just the calm before the storm? What if I find out that I can't apply this year? What the hell am I going to do? I have been avoiding thinking about it because I want to stay positive but I can't help if negative thoughts sneak into my mind from time to time.

I've been having dreams about the moment when I get my score. Sometimes I get a bad score and other times I get a great score. Maybe I am unconsciously preparing myself either way. I think that in either case there are likely to be some tears.

What's the worst that can happen? Well, taking that test over would suck royally but it wouldn't be the end of the world. The harder decision would be whether to stay at my current job for 2 years instead of 1 and deal with them harrassing me over my grade, or find another place to work at. I'd probably pick the latter because I am proud that way.

I am praying really hard that I am pleasantly surprised on Wednesday. Statistically speaking chances are that I will be at least ok with my score. But still, when I recall that first section all I remember is doubt. I really hope I didn't mess it up too badly.

Only time will tell . . .