I have had a few MD relapses but for the most part I have been much better this past week at being able to put the feelings aside and enjoy other things in my life. I don't want to cry victory yet but I am starting to feel a little hopeful. I may have found the way to balance all my interests. Just maybe. I feel like I need to pray on this. When I think about it it makes sense that God has already answered my prayer by presenting me with this option of "Doctor Lite". Had I wanted to be almost anything else I wouldn't even have this option.

I may never feel completely at peace at having "given up" the doctor title, but I am feeling more and more reassured that if I go the balanced life option that things will work out.

The reason I can't relate to my fellow pre-meds and their drive is because I have more to lose than them. For them this is what they want 300%. Not so for me. I want it badly. Probably 90%. But it is music which occupies the highest rung. How can I even pretend to be happy if I don't face that. Whether I like it or not, I am an artist at heart. This bodes badly for the whole PhD option too. But it's ok. I didn't really want to know all the intricacies of cells or molecules anyway. Give me a few patients and my oboe any day.

Priority list:
PA
PhD
Ed
MD